≡ Menu

A Simple Way to Know Yourself Better

Eid Mubarak to all Muslim readers of The Minimalist Guy !


A few days ago I attended a meeting on a local political party election.

During the meeting, one of the candidates who will be running for Head of the Women Wing spoke up.

I did not agree with what she said. And I decided to speak up. But I found myself mincing my words and not delivering the whole punch of what I wanted to say.

I should have not softened what I wanted to say. I should have just said what I had in mind. And if she does not agree, that should be her problem, not mine.

But in the end, I did not fully verbalised what I thought.

Based on that small interaction, I realised one thing.

I was afraid of offending a person I don’t really know. I still have this need to be liked by a semi-stranger. I wanted her approval even though she has nothing to do with me.

And yet, I have no problem speaking up my mind to people who are close and very dear to me. Sometimes its bordering on offending them.

But I was wrong.

In essence, I was lacking of Power in my relationship with a stranger.

And I applied too much Power in my relationship with those close to me, when I should have applied more Love and Truth.

When I look closer, I realised that my interaction with other persons, is a priceless tool to know myself better.

That, my friend, is the simple way to know yourself better.

If I want to be more philosophical, I’ll put it this way……

“In you, I see myself. And in me, you can see yourself. We are all mirrors to each other.”

What you like and hate in another person is a reflection of yourself, your values, and your priorities.

When I was a first year student in my college, there was this guy who operates a small newspaper stall in the college.

He was a graduate of that college, and comes to the college every morning riding a motorcycle to open his stall.

I thought he was a struggling unambitious and unemployed graduate who was only able to operate a small newspaper stall then.

But right now, 5 years down the road, I am seeing him differently.

But there is nothing different with him now. He still rides his motorcycle everyday to open his stall. And he still operates that one stall.

But right now, I envy him.

He has the freedom and the flexibility that I don’t.

One, he can open his shop anytime he wants. I can’t just be absent from work anytime I want. Second, he is operating his own small business and I am working for a corporation (to a certain extend I am working for myself as well in the context of yearly performance review). Thirdly, he can shower in the middle of a weekday. I can’t.

Why is there a shift in the way I perceive the same guy?

Did he change? Nope.

Did I change? I think I did.

The way I see him at a certain point of time is merely a reflection of what I value at that time.

How we perceive another person is just a mirror of ourselves.

That my friend, is a simple way to know ourselves better.

{ 9 comments… add one }
  • Aini

    “How we perceive another person is just a mirror of ourselves.” — Psychologically true…

  • Ahmad Fadli (KC)


  • What if I’m a compassionist and I love everyone 😉

  • SEn7doH


  • Ahmad Fadli (KC)

    @Kakyn – That means ur full of love..spread it to others !! 🙂
    And why are you becoming Osho..oh ya, Thich Nhat Hanh is in Penang this Tuesday

  • That is so true. I too, am afraid of offending people I don’t know, when in fact I should be stronger in my opinions but not to get personal.

    What a thought-provoking post

  • Ahmad Fadli (KC)

    Hey Miss EverydayMinimalist,

    Thanks for dropping by ! That is the area that I am working on right now …

  • Its the culture la KC. Being an Asian, thats what you do subconsciously.

    Let it out.

  • Ahmad Fadli (KC)

    I totally agree with you Snoop Squad Officer and I also believe in “membetulkan yang biasa dan membiasakan yang betul” 😀

Leave a Comment