That is me. I am a lazy seducer but I am also a hardworking boyfriend. Oh God, I can’t remember when was the last time I wrote a piece that is so full of myself 😉
So please allow me the space to do so, now.
Lately, I have been doing some reflections after being out of a long term relationship for about seven months.
In the end, I came to the following conclusions:
I consider myself to be a Lazy Seducer. This is because I have a habit of not putting a lot of efforts at any inital courting stage of a girl that I am attracted to.
Instead, I prefer to just sit back, relax and let the girl take the lead, emotionally.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t put any effort at all in creating a nice and memorable day out (or day in) with the girl.
The ‘lazy’ part means I don’t fret or get anxious if a girl cancels a date. Or if she does not pick up my call. Or if she is interested in me or not.
It’s not worth expending so much energy on such trivia matter.
But once I get into a relationship, the job begins.
This is the phase where I turn into a Hardworking Boyfriend, in the relationship phase.
A relationship has different dynamics from the initial stage of courtship.
First, this is the phase where I, or any guy should catch a grenade or jump on a train for their girlfriends 😉
(Thanks Bruno Mars!)
And at this phase too, I will start to try understanding the girl. Like really understanding the girl as a unique individual, not just as in understanding another creature with mammary glands that is different from mine.
This is also the phase where I work hard. Literally and figuratively 😉
One good resources for men to understand the girl with, is 5 Love Languages website. It is a derivation of a book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Another one, is of course the classic by John Gray, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
Oh ya, those two books, a guy should not bother reading them when they are in the ‘Lazy Seducer’ stage. They are useless.
Read it and apply it like a Bible, or Koran, only when you get in the ‘Hardworking Boyfriend’ stage.
What should you do then when you are in the ‘Lazy Seducer’ phase then?
Do this. Every time before you go out on a date or she’s coming over to your place, imagine yourself pinning her to the wall and giving it really rough and tough to her 😉
That way, by the time you go out on a date, instead of coming across as weak and meek man trying to get laid, you will send a subtle vibe of a man who gives it when he feels like giving it.
Oh ya, there are a few benefits of this approach to dating and relationship.
First, it weeds out girls who are not that interested in you right from the beginning.
And second, it rewards the girls who work hard for your attention and deserve your time, attention and energy.
That my friend, is a minimalist approach to dating and relationship.
You heard it first from me 😉
-Ahmad Fadli KC aka Buluh Perindu-