I have been blogging close to 2 years. And this entry reveals snippets out of my life that I have never revealed before.
It is an attempt at fully expressing myself (online and offline) so you can see me as I see myself.
Before that, the biggest roadblocks when it comes to self-expression online and offline is….
The fear of being judged by others.
We are afraid that we might step on some person’s tail if we say what we think and behave as we want to. We are afraid that others might not like us if we have different opinion with them. In the end, we keep what we think to ourselves, sit at one corner and the world becomes a big eggshell that we walk on.
Without the courage to fully express ourselves, we come across as weak, meek and an ass-kisser.
People will have a hard time knowing the real us and connecting with us.
To this, this is what I have to say..
People love to connect with genuine people. Genuine people can be understood much better, and those around them are able to let down their guards .
This is the reason Paris Hilton is loved by millions. She is a party girl. She owns up to that image of her. She has a private video that got leaked to the whole world. She admitted it and marches on.
The truth is, I could not give you a magic bullet to instantly be able to fully express yourself. It is an ongoing process. It is a journey with the main purpose of enjoying the journey itself.
Most of the time, I try to present to the external world my real self that I always communicate with intimately. I want to be able to bond with people on a deeper level in the shortest amount of time.
There are who clicks right away and there are who don’t. No matter how hard we both try.
And those that do not really click with me can always have some other persons as their friends.
To turn over this new leaf in my blogging life, I’m going to share 21 things I have never shared with you before.
Can you bear the burden of keeping these secrets? . Here they are:
1. I only started holding girl’s hand at the age of 20 and got my first kiss at the age of 21. This was because I used to have a funny rule of only initiating hand holding with girls on the third date. Duhh. And until now I have only had 3 girlfriends in a long -term relationship.
2. I only studied hard until the age of 15. That explains why I graduated with less than 3.0 CGPA in college.
3. Accounting was my major in the university because a famous singer who once sang at a shopping mall in my hometown (she sang very well and it was live), happened to be majoring in accounting as well in the university I went to. When I registered, she was in her third year.
Maybe this explains why the last girl I dated is a very talented singer. And she has won a lot of awards too. But they are not the same person though.
4. I don’t drink but I have no issue eating any food cooked with wine. Or liquor. Or alcohol.
5. I don’t smoke too. I tried it when I was in my second year in college but it did not feel nice.
6. I tried weed once.
7. I have a big ego. But I always hope it comes across to people as unshakable and unwavering confidence.
8. Bartending and a being a part-time cinema staff are two jobs that I thought were cool when I was in college. But right now I think being self-employed is way much cooler.
9. Public speaking is a talent which I have neglected for quite some time. And I always secretly think if I really put the time and effort, I can be a much better orator than Anwar Ibrahim.
10. I don’t read fiction that much.
11. I think Osho is a great spiritual guru. Most of the time I think he is way better than Tuan Guru Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat.
12. I am a face guy. And I prefer come-love-me than a come-fuck-me face in girls.
13. Resume was the only document that I have been using to get hired all this while.
14. Everytime I walk by a mirror I never fail to check my reflection in the mirror. I only knew it is a sign of vanity after reading about it long after doing that. I hope that quality comes across to other people as confidence too.
15. I like bantering and witty dialogues with friends and girlfriends. And the wittiest among my friends happen to be Indians.
16. I worked selling horse racing betting tickets during the weekends at Penang Turf Club from 2007 until June 2010.
17. Being not religious is something that I am comfortable with. But it took me a long time to come to terms with this frame of mind. And I don’t subscribe to the notion that religion has the solution for everything.
18. At one point of time in my life, I got involved with the Pick Up Artist community. And I still hangout with some of them from time to time.
19. Eventhough I am an extrovert, I really like to have a lot of free time alone for myself. Those time with myself makes me feel refreshed, helps to put things in perspective and get me focused.
20. I love meeting new people outside of my current social circles. I believe I can learn a few things or two from every person that I meet. You might be my “right people”, or you might not be one, but that’s okay.
21. I have a habit of using the word “college” and “university” interchangeably and they mean the same thing.
This is only the beginning for me to express myself to the fullest that I can be.
I hope this is your beginning too.
If you made it this far, I really appreciate it. If you get a good vibe reading this posting, please leave me a comment, or friend me on facebook.