If you are a man, and would like to feel and be more in control of your life, one of the things you can do is to embrace the power of masculinity.
This age is a very challenging time of being a man. A lot of parties are interested in defining what it means to be a man. Interestingly, some of it requires us to dress in a certain way or wear a certain brand. Then only we are ‘men’ and masculine .
I do not condone that way of tapping into your masculinity. But I very much doubt that it is a sustainable way of being a man.
That approach is like a Band-Aid . It does not heal. It only patch the cut. You have a great sports car, you are the man. You wear this avant-garde timepiece, you are the man.
Take a closer look and you realise it is an approach focusing on some external factors. Therefore it becomes a superficial outside-in approach.
What if one day you are no longer driving that sports car? You will be less a masculine man now.
I would like to suggest an alternative approach to becoming more masculine. It is an inside-out approach. It starts with asking oneself what does it mean to be a man.
Let’s get back to the basics. A man by nature is very protective and yet very aggressive. He takes good care of himself and protects those close to him. During those old times, a man protects his family and his tribe from dangers and rival tribes.
In these days, cultivating this protective nature should start at home. And so, a man should learn how to be a protector of his family, more specifically, his mom. In order to be a real masculine man, a man should learn to be protective of his mom, the very women that made him exist in the world.
A man should have a good relationship with his mom and yet has a strong male role model to learn to strengthen that ‘aggressive’ nature of him. This role model can be the father himself or a peer that can be emulated and has something to learn from.
Only when these two elements are in place, a man will be in touch with his masculine nature. Lacking one of it leads to an imbalanced life. Being too close to his mom and not having a male role model has the tendency to turn a man into asexual man. He will be afraid to express his sexuality and try to shun his masculinity out of fear of hurting the opposite sex.
On the opposite side, having a male role model and lacking a close relationship with the mother figure makes a man lacking the ability to connect with the opposite gender. He will tend to be a man with strong and tough exterior and yet masturbates to porn in the silence. Do you want to be this man?
Being in a relationship with a girl is another way to enhance your masculinity. And please, behave like a man, not a wimpy doormat to that women. And if it is done correctly, it also improves your relationship with your mother.
Based on my experience, when I started to have a girlfriend years before, my own relationship with my mom improved dramatically.
I spent 5 years in boys boarding school for my secondary level education. And I spent most of my college years away from my family.
This continuous period of being regularly away from my family took its toll on the way I relate to my mom. To tell the truth, I used to feel uncomfortable hugging my mom to say goodbye. But things changed when I started to have a girlfriend.
I learned to connect with women. I learned that sometimes we can have some non-sexual physical contact with the opposite sex to express the depth of mutual feelings that we have. I learn to hug women sexually and non-sexually. To be sexual or non-sexual is something that can be exercised by choice.
The good effects of being in a relationship spilled over to my own relationship with my mom. I no longer feel uncomfortable to hug her as a way of saying goodbye. I know that most of the time when she speaks, all I have to do is open my ears and close my mouth. However, this new found power also has its own downside. My younger sister became jealous of me and accused me of being my mom’s favourite child
So there you have it the trifecta of masculinity. Have a good relationship with your mom, have a male role model and try to be in a relationship to be able to relate to your mom better.
P/S – Giving women hugs feels great. Try it !