It was Tuesday lunch hour. I was having lunch with my colleagues. Four girls. In the middle of lunch one of them received a call from her boyfriend. He was asking how her lunch is. I figure that from their tone of conversation.
It was Thursday lunch hour. The same group of colleagues. And the same girl got another lunch call from her boyfriend. Again asking how the lunch was.
It was Friday lunch hour. The same group of colleagues. The same girl got another lunch call from her boyfriend. But her tone was not like someone who was happily expecting a call from her boyfriend. This time I teased her. I told her that I never know lunch time is her reporting for duty time ;-D.
To my surprise, she said that she is a bit annoyed to get that kind of call every single day without fail. Dependent guy bores her she said. Haha! Now boyfriend has become bore-friend.
I have met the boyfriend in person a couple of times. He is really a nice guy. If he is not dating my colleague, I wouldn’t mind if he is interested in my sister. But I’m not sure if the constant lunch calls are able to keep my sister interested.
This is where most guys do wrong. Instead of coming across as caring and sensitive, they come across as clingy and needy. Instead of creating the effect of being a caring boyfriend, they accidentally being perceived as being too intrusive early on in the relationship.The relationship that these guys want to build eventually becomes relation’shit’.
So how do we solve this problem?
Early on in a relationship, it is more important to be (or appear) strong than to be sensitive. Six months in a relationship does not require a person to vomit I-LOVE-YOUs every single day. You also do not have to check on your girlfriend’s temperature from afar every single day.
Being strong is related a person level of assertiveness. Assertiveness means how confident you are to put forward your expectation from others in life.
One of the test should be this: you go to a restaurant, ask for a medium rare steak but you were served a well done steak. Will you just chew the steak because you do not want to offend the cook and the waiter who served you? Or will you ask for a replacement steak nicely from the waiter?
Being assertive means being a dominant man. And girls will naturally want to follow a dominant man’s lead. A dominant man who knows what he wants in life. A dominant man that knows others will give him what he wants in life because he deserves it.
Doesn’t that sound like you?
The other solution to this problem is to avoid routines early on in a relationship. The girl does not need any obligatory goodnight call from you when you have just gone out on three dates with her. She also does not need you to bring her flowers for the first date to the fifth date.
She surely need some surprise here and there. Why don’t you use the wonder of Google algorithm to figure that out:-D
So far I have shared two solutions to avoid becoming a lousy boyfriend.
Do you have any opinion on what makes a guy a lousy boyfriend? Or how to avoid being one?
Let me know in the comment box below…
P/S – You can also send resumes to have me as your girlfriend’s brother