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A Spiritual Approach to Meeting Women

Be confident and be yourself. Ask any man how to be good with women and that is the answer.

But what if you have been confident and have been yourself and still feel like there is something missing in your interaction with women? You are confident and relax but you feel like it is still not enough.

A lot of people have mistaken confidence as external concept drawn outside of ourselves. Put on a new and crisp clothes and voila, you feel confident. Wear a pair of shiny shoes and you’ll feel more gentlemanly. Be clean shaven and the girls will follow you home. Drive a Jaguar and you are a pussy magnet.

What is wrong with the above? Things outside of yourself make you feel confident. Your job makes you feel good. Your choice of car makes you feel superior. These things and labels define you.

If you are an engineer and one day you lost your job,who are you? Are you still an engineer? No you are not. You are an unemployed guy. Now you are no longer using the label “engineer”, you put the label “unemployed” to yourself. Another label goes another label comes.

Imagine this – when you were an engineer you got to know a girl, who is a model. Now that you are an unemployed, she agrees to go out with you. But she doesn’t know the unemployed part. And you say to yourself that it is going to be a date between a model and an unemployed guy.

There’s no more confidence. No more be yourself. I could not be an unemployed guy. Girls do not want to date an unemployed guy, you tell yourself.

What your job is, is what you do. What your car is, is what you have. Those things are not you.

How much money you have does not put a value to yourself. It only represents how much value you are able to contribute to the society.

All things stripped away, we are just some persons. Every time we go out meeting other people, it is a meeting of some persons.

Let’s dig deeper. What are inside the body of these persons? Inside the body of these persons are Souls. Inside the body of some other persons are also Souls. Every time you see another person, it is actually a meeting of two Souls.

You are a Soul inside a body that does engineering works going on a date with a Soul inside a body who does modeling for a living.

Insecurity and self doubt vanish into the air when we see ourselves as Souls.

As a Soul- you and me- we are all equal.

{ 3 comments… add one }
  • Aisyah

    This is my doploh sen.

    I agree with the the internal confidence debate but let’s not forget. What you do is who you are too. Not all of us do what we do everyday just to earn a living. Some people work because they get satisfaction from what they do, they feel happy. And if that gives them a fat paycheck, and later leads to confidence, well, its a bonus.

    A closer example would be you. You’re a writer, and if I take that away, wouldn’t it mean I’m taking away a part of who you are? I think we shouldn’t hide behind a facade of wealth and possessions, but at the same time these things do define who you are, how hard you’ve worked, and how brilliant you are as a person 🙂


  • Z.A.

    Hai ECAH! 😀 (xox0)

    I totally agree with KC on this. Be ‘naked’ and you’ll get a helluva lot closer with that person, and most importantly to yourself.

    p/s: I am so free right now – attending yet another 6 months pre-posting course in IDFR, KL, (near DBP). leceyh la, but can relax a bit hehe – thus the commentaries on your articles. So do KIT and bagitau kalau datang KL!!



    Aisyah aka notmaterialgal – A person can stop me from writing but he or she can’t take away my soul from me. Even my intelligence is a separate thing from me.

    Before this, I used to get offended when people don’t acknowledge my intelligence. But now, I’m more peaceful because I have separated my intelligence from myself.Not taking things personally has helped me a lot nowadays. Courtesy of Don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreement 😀

    Z.A – I like it when you use the word ‘naked’. So spiritual and yet so sensual.. :-D..Did you go to any Sufi school before?

    I’ll try to KIT with KIDD

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